A Part Of Me: Read online

  “Good, go for it.”

  “If we’re going to wait on having another child, then I’ll schedule an appointment with Dr. Gidron to get back on the pill. I also wanted to talk to him about that procedure I told you about.”

  “What procedure?”

  “We start an IVF process and then choose an embryo that doesn’t have the cancer gene.”

  “Oh, right. Isn’t that dangerous?”

  “Not more than any other IVF procedure millions of women have every year. If we’re going to postpone having a child, we should go through with it.”

  “Ok, ask him, and we’ll see.”

  At night, I turned it over and over in my mind. Maybe things won’t be different in a new place. Maybe they’ll also have a problem with my work-hours. I realized I had to make a change, but maybe finding a new job, wasn’t enough. I couldn’t keep being miserable all the time. It was nice working with Sarah, and the ALUT case was also very important to me. But it wasn’t enough. I decided that, first I should find a new job and only if things don’t work out, I’ll plan my next step.

  There was something about having this gene that made me reconsider things, realize that I don’t have time to waste on things that’s weren’t important to me or be where I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to wait for retirement to do the things I wanted, because I didn’t know if I would even have time to retire.

  These thoughts kept racing through my mind until the first rays of sun lit the room. I decided to give up sleeping and get ready. I wanted to get to the office and talk to Sarah. I also wanted to update my CV, so she could give it to her parents’ friend. I was so concentrated on these thoughts that refused to leave me, that only when I reached the office, did I notice the radio was off the entire drive to Tel Aviv.

  Chapter 24

  “Hi, I’m calling from Alice Kaplan’s office. Am I speaking with Shirley?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good morning, Alice would like to schedule a meeting with you. Can you come tomorrow at 10:40 A.M.?” I couldn’t believe they called me so soon.

  I checked my schedule and replied, “sure.”

  “Great, I’ll send you an email with our address, just confirm you’ve received it. See you tomorrow.”

  Wow. It was only yesterday that Sarah had given them my CV. This was a good sign. After calling Michael and excitedly telling him about the news, I quickly went to Sarah’s office and closed the door behind me.

  “Alice’s office called and we scheduled a meeting for tomorrow. Did you tell her not to tell anyone? I can’t have Nathan hearing about this until it’s a done deal.”

  “Yes, of course I told her. She promised to be discrete.”

  “Perfect. I really hope this works out.”

  “How can you abandon me here with all these lunatics?!” Sarah dramatically sprawled on her desk and almost spilled her coffee. “Don’t leave me.”

  “Sorry… I can’t handle having lunatics at work. I have enough of them at home.”

  “Stop it. Your kids are adorable.”

  “Look at you, such an expert. Wait until you have kids of your own.” I thanked her for her help and went back to my office.

  Even though I was now working more hours, I still had the smallest office next to the interns’ room. I hated it and felt as if I was being punished. I sat down and started thinking what would I say tomorrow at my meeting with Alice. Her being friends with Sarah’s parents, wouldn’t help me. I had to make a good first impression and close the deal as soon as possible.

  When I returned home, I found mom playing on the carpet with the children. Ariel was sitting on her lap and Adam was running around with plastic work tools. He was wearing a yellow Bob the Builder helmet and tinkered around with his push car. “Did you see the surgeon I recommended you?” mom asked as I sat next to her on the carpet.

  “Yes. Two weeks ago. He said everything was fine and told me to have an MRI.” It was actually nice that carriers were eligible to have such expensive tests. Sarah told me that even though her mother already had breast cancer, she couldn’t have an MRI. I tried really hard finding something positive about this screwed up gene.

  “And did you make an appointment?”

  “The insurance company needs to call me back.” I kissed Ariel, who in return pulled on what hair I had left after my postpartum hair-loss.

  “Good, it’s important. Did they also tell you to take blood tests?”

  “Yes.” These tests were my only chance for an early diagnosis, and I wasn’t planning on skipping a single one.

  “Great.” Mom looked relaxed after I answered all her questions about my bi-annual checkup.

  I looked at the three of them, and my heart expanded with joy. Despite all my anxieties, here she was, with us, playing with her grandchildren. All we need is a few more cancer-free years and then we’ll know it’s behind us. I have everything I need, and having a new job made things seem better.

  Ariel kissed mom on the nose, she laughed out loud and asked that I take a picture of them together. Only when I took the picture did I notice that Ariel has mom’s ears. Never mind, I thought, she can hide them when her hair grows longer.

  Adam came back with his push car and started banging on it with his hammer. There’s nothing like coming back to a quiet home after a long day at work. I had to make something to eat – no way around it. Luckily, Adam wanted “Cathy’s omelet”, I stood next to her and tried telling her about my interview. However, as usual, Ariel found something dangerous to do the moment you looked away. I found her lifting the push car up on the table and trying to climb it. I missed the days she would stay in one place.

  ***

  I decided to take the morning off, and told Nathan I wasn’t feeling well and will come in later. I think he suspected I was pregnant or something of the sort, but was too scared to ask. It’s better this way. I woke the children up, got ready and started walking to the daycare.

  The weather was nice and they were happy to walk to the daycare. I had forgotten how fun it was spending a stress-free morning with them, and mostly, having an hour for myself at home. I couldn’t wait to drop them off in daycare and have some ‘me time’. I hadn’t had time for myself in four years, since Adam was born. Besides, it was nice staying home in the middle of the week for no particular reason.

  Ariel grabbed Adam’s hand and they walked together. Every now and then he would stop and show her something on the ground or the fence. Ariel looked at him with an admiration, in a way only a little sister could. I was overwhelmed with warm feelings. These moments were clearly worth it. I really felt like canceling my interview and my appointment at the gynecologist and just have another child. However, the thought of having to spend another year with Nathan made me sick to my stomach, and I decided there was no other choice but finding a new law firm. Who would hire a pregnant lawyer? It was hard enough finding a job with two children, let alone while being pregnant.

  Tammy, the daycare teacher, was exceptionally happy this morning. “It’s so wonderful to see you!” Tammy hugged me with surprising enthusiasm, “I never see you since you went back to work.”

  “Yes, I know. I come home late.”

  “I see Natalie every now and then. She’s really sweet. We have moms looking for a babysitter, does she have any free days?”

  “I don’t think so.” That’s the last thing I needed, someone stealing Natalie from me. I would have given Michael’s number before I gave hers.

  “OK, if she does have some free time, let me know.”

  “Definitely.” That is, I will definitely not.

  I said goodbye to the kids, actually just Adam, because Ariel hung up her bag immediately and ran to play with her friends in the ball pit. Adam whined a bit, and Tammy made point of mentioning that he wasn’t used to seeing me leave in the morning because I never take him to daycare.


  I walked slowly back home, and rehearsed some sentences I thought were important to mention in my interview with Alice. I decided emphasizing that I wanted to work closer to home, rather than saying something negative about my current firm. After all, she might ask Nathan for references.

  My alone time passed too quickly, and was mostly wasted on choosing the right outfit for the interview. I was looking for something that didn’t seem like I was trying too hard, but would still look professional. I chose a black knee-length skirt, and a buttoned eggplant-colored shirt. I even wore high heels.

  When I entered the building, I could already feel there was something different about this place. It was a small and modest office building, nothing like the monstrous skyscraper I worked in. I went up to the third floor and rang the buzzer. A middle-aged woman opened the door, she was dressed in jeans and a worn-out ACDC shirt. Next to the office front door was a small sitting area with two long powder-blue fabric sofas and a long wooden table. On the table was an empty pickle jar with flowers that seemed to have been picked from the backyard. There was a packed bookcase behind one of the sofas. It was as if I had walked into someone’s living room.

  “Hey, I’m Shirley. I have a meeting with Alice.” I threw a quick look at the sign again, to make sure I was in the right place. It said “Kaplan & Associates, law firm.” This was it.

  “Nice to meet you, Shirley, I’m Alice. Our secretary is off today, so we’re trying to figure things out. Let’s go into my office and talk a bit.” This wasn’t a good start. I didn’t recognize Alice, who looked completely different from her picture on their website.

  “With pleasure.” I followed her and thought it was pointless wasting those thirty minutes on choosing this buttoned shirt. Maybe this was her day off. On our way to her office we walked by a few offices and every lawyer we passed by, smiled and said hello. One of the lawyers even introduced herself. The office was quiet and no one was shouting across the hall. I suddenly noticed there were only women in the office, which might have explained why it was so quiet.

  “Would you like anything to drink?” Alice pointed at the small kitchen.

  “Thanks.” I took a glass of water while she waited by the door. Then, I kept following her, until we reached the last room in the office.

  It was a spacious room with a large desk, but Alice sat on the sofa at the corner of the room and pointed at the armchair next to it. Her green All Star shoes stood out against the purple sofa. I have never seen a lawyer coming to the office wearing All Stars. I sat down and placed the cup on a small round straw table. The office was so much warmer and more pleasant than other rooms I have seen in different law firms.

  “So, I understand you’re looking for a job.”

  “Yes, I’m currently working with Sarah, but I’m looking to make a change. I heard good things about you and thought I could learn a lot from you.”

  “Thank you. Sarah also told me great things about you, but I’m afraid she’s not up to date about the changes I have made. I don’t work as much in the office, because about six months ago I decided to focus on my PhD. I always wanted to be Dr. Kaplan.”

  “That’s great,” I smiled at her and immediately started thinking how the changes she made would affect me. The thought about this job as a life vest that kept me afloat throughout the last week, but now I felt as if I was drowning again. I tried to keep smiling and hide the disappointment growing inside of me.

  “Actually, you came right on time. I’m looking for a research assistant and also someone who can help me with some cases I still have open. We will obviously get new cases, but I’ll try not to take on too many. I’m not sure that’s what you’re looking for, but if you’re willing to consider it, I’d love working with you. From what I heard and read, you’ll be a great addition here.”

  “It really isn’t what I had in mind, but it actually sounds excellent.” My smile grew wider and I could breathe again.

  “I hope you realize I can’t pay you like they do in big firms, right?” she didn’t wait for my response, “of course you’ll get all the other benefits. Our work hours are convenient and the other lawyers here are lovely. How does that sound?”

  “It sounds wonderful. I would obviously have to give my 6-week-notice, so I can start then. Is that OK?”

  “Of course. Take all the time you need. No rush. Just let me know the date. Come, I’ll show you where you’ll be working.” Alice stood up and I followed her enthusiastically.

  We started walking back, towards the entrance, and she stopped in front of a closed door, “take a look, this is going to be your new office.” She opened the door and I saw a small office with two desks. The one next to the window was covered with papers and dossiers; it was clearly taken. The second table was closer to the door, and was empty and clean.

  “Is this the new girl? Nice to meet you, I’m Anna.” A young woman, about my age, walked into the office and shook my hand. She held in her other hand a large file full of papers. Anna wore the usual lawyer uniform – a white buttoned shirt and tailored black pants. Completely different from Alice. There was something familiar about it. But then I noticed she was wearing red flip flops.

  Anna must have noticed me looking. “Ah, I hate wearing high heels. When I’m in the office I wear these, they’re super comfortable.”

  “You are completely right. Nice to meet you, I’m Shirley. And yes, I hope I’m the new girl.” I peeked at Alice and saw she was nodding in approval. Everything suddenly seemed so simple.

  “OK, I’ll leave you two to chat. I’m off to a meeting.” Alice turned to me, “It was a pleasure meeting you and I look forward to hearing from you.”

  I spent half an hour with Anna and found out she was absolutely charming. She was a mother of two girls, slightly younger than my own, and told me that the work hours were 9 to 3, and usually they didn’t have to bring their work back home.

  “We’re all moms here. Except for Alice, she doesn’t have kids.” Anna said. “She’s nice but it’s a bit difficult working with her.”

  After working with Nathan, I wasn’t so easily scared, but I wanted to hear more. “What do you mean by ‘difficult’?”

  “Look, she’s very professional and has a lot of experience. She even served as a judge for a while. But she’s not an easy person. She demands from others exactly what she demands of herself.”

  “Like what?” she made me worry, I needed to know what I was getting into. I didn’t want to repeat the same mistake I made when I took the position in Nathan’s firm just because I couldn’t believe I would find something better.

  “When you write something and send it to her, it should be well-written and final. She won’t accept a draft that needs editing. You have to stick to citation rules and add all references. She expects a finished product.”

  “OK,” it sounded strict yet doable. “What else?”

  “She comes in late and stays late, so she sends a lot of emails at strange hours. Don’t be surprised if you come in the morning and find a huge pile of papers on your desk.”

  “Anything’s better than my current job.”

  “Great. I would love it if you came. I get bored alone in this room.” Anna smiled and her phone rang. I waved goodbye and left.

  I couldn’t wait to get back to Nathan’s office; just so I could tell him I found a different place and was leaving. The salary wasn’t important to me, as long as I could leave that tiny office and stressful environment.

  I called mom before I had even left the building.

  “I just finished. There’s such a nice atmosphere there, you won’t believe it. Everything is calm and quiet. Everyone is so nice. They’re actually all women, and they’re so friendly. Also, most of them are moms. And work is until 3 P.M. And it’s much closer to home. I’m just so excited to get started.”

  “That’s great, sweetie. I’m happy to hear
it, but I’m about to have a conference meeting in a few minutes and everyone is already here.”

  “OK, we’ll talk later.”

  Mom hung up and I called Michael, who was very happy and gave his blessing. “Never mind about the money, as long as you’re happy.”

  “I will be happy. It seems like a great place for me.”

  It was the first time in many months that I walked into the office with a smile.

  Nathan actually handled the news well and asked me to write a resignation letter. He asked that I brief Sarah on all my cases and we set my final date at work. No one could have been as happy as I was when I signed that document.

  Chapter 25

  “Hey, mom told me some guy tried hitting you? What happened?” I called Tommy on my way home from the office so we could talk quietly. I wanted to hear all the details. Mom called in the afternoon and sounded really upset. She told me someone attacked Tommy last night.

  “Dan and I were at a scouts’ meeting.”

  “Wait, is this actually scouts, or IGI again?” when mom told me he was at a scouts’ meeting I thought he was hiding something again.

  “No, this time it really was scouts.”

  “OK, go on.” I was truly surprised.

  “So, yesterday was the first introduction meeting between two different groups, since they’re supposed to merge into one unit in the army. We were planning to go to the beach in Herzliya. I just joined them to keep Dan company.” Tommy sounded really calm.

  “OK,” I replied and waited to hear the rest. Dan was Tom’s best friend, which explained Tom’s sudden interest in the scouts’ activities.

  “When we finished, we looked for something to eat and found a kiosk. We walked in and after us came in 3 or 4 drunk Russians. They were about our age, and started asking us where did we come from and what were we doing. They teased us and were probably looking to start a fight. Frankly, I couldn’t keep quiet and smarted off something. That only made them angrier.” I didn’t speak a word and let Tommy finish his story.